Saturday, May 5, 2007
i hated her... she was such an embarrassment..
my mom ran a small shop at a flea market.
she collected little weeds and such to sell...
anything for the money we needed
she was such an embarressment.
there was this one day during elementary school..
it was field day, and my mom came.
i was so embarressed. how could she do this to me? i threw her a
hateful
look and ran out.
the next day at school...
"your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they taunted me.
i wished that my mom would just dissappear from this world so i said to
my
mom, "mom.. why dont you have the other eye?! if you're only gonna make
me
a laughingstock, why dont you just die?!!!" my mom did not respond.. i
guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think
that i had said what i'd wanted to say all this time.. maybe it was
because my mom hadnt punished me, but i didnt think that i had hurt her
feelings very badly.
that night...
i woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
my mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she
might
wake me. i took a look at her, then turned away. because of the thing i
had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the
corner
of my heart. even so, i hated my mother who was crying out of her one
eye.
so i told myself that i would grow up and become successful. cause i
hated
&! nbsp;my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty..
then i studied real hard.
i left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the
Seoul University with all the confidence i had.
then, i got married.
i bought a house of my own.
then i had kids, too..
now i'm living happily as a successful man.
i like it here because it's a place that doesnt remind me of my mom.
this happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when..
what?!
who's this?!
...it was my mother...
..still with her one eye.
it felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
my little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
and i asked her,
"who are you?!"
"i dont know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. i screamed at
her,"
how dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!"
"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
and to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, i'm so sorry. i may have
gotten the wrong address," and she dissappeared out of sight.
thank good ness... she doesnt recognize me..
i was quite relieved.
i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think about this for the
rest
of my life. then a wave of relief came upon me...
one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. so,
lying
to my wife that i was going on a business trip, i went. after the
reunion,
i went down to the old shack, that i used to call a house...just out of
curiosity
there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
but i did not shed a single tear.
she had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
my son...
i think my life has been long enough now..
and... i wont visit Seoul anymore...
but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you to come visit me once
in a
while? i miss you so much.. and i was so glad when i heard you were
coming
for the reunion. but i decided not to go to the school. ...for you...
and
i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was an embarressment for you.
you see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost
your eye. as a mom, i couldnt stand watching you having to grow up with
only one eye... so i gave you mine... i was so proud of my son that was
seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. i was
never
upset at you for anything you did.. the couple times that you were
angry
with me,.. i thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me..'
my son... oh, my son...
i dont want you to cry for me, because of my death.
please dont cry...
my son, i love you so much
my mom ran a small shop at a flea market.
she collected little weeds and such to sell...
anything for the money we needed
she was such an embarressment.
there was this one day during elementary school..
it was field day, and my mom came.
i was so embarressed. how could she do this to me? i threw her a
hateful
look and ran out.
the next day at school...
"your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they taunted me.
i wished that my mom would just dissappear from this world so i said to
my
mom, "mom.. why dont you have the other eye?! if you're only gonna make
me
a laughingstock, why dont you just die?!!!" my mom did not respond.. i
guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think
that i had said what i'd wanted to say all this time.. maybe it was
because my mom hadnt punished me, but i didnt think that i had hurt her
feelings very badly.
that night...
i woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
my mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she
might
wake me. i took a look at her, then turned away. because of the thing i
had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the
corner
of my heart. even so, i hated my mother who was crying out of her one
eye.
so i told myself that i would grow up and become successful. cause i
hated
&! nbsp;my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty..
then i studied real hard.
i left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the
Seoul University with all the confidence i had.
then, i got married.
i bought a house of my own.
then i had kids, too..
now i'm living happily as a successful man.
i like it here because it's a place that doesnt remind me of my mom.
this happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when..
what?!
who's this?!
...it was my mother...
..still with her one eye.
it felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
my little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
and i asked her,
"who are you?!"
"i dont know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. i screamed at
her,"
how dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!"
"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
and to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, i'm so sorry. i may have
gotten the wrong address," and she dissappeared out of sight.
thank good ness... she doesnt recognize me..
i was quite relieved.
i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think about this for the
rest
of my life. then a wave of relief came upon me...
one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. so,
lying
to my wife that i was going on a business trip, i went. after the
reunion,
i went down to the old shack, that i used to call a house...just out of
curiosity
there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
but i did not shed a single tear.
she had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
my son...
i think my life has been long enough now..
and... i wont visit Seoul anymore...
but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you to come visit me once
in a
while? i miss you so much.. and i was so glad when i heard you were
coming
for the reunion. but i decided not to go to the school. ...for you...
and
i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was an embarressment for you.
you see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost
your eye. as a mom, i couldnt stand watching you having to grow up with
only one eye... so i gave you mine... i was so proud of my son that was
seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. i was
never
upset at you for anything you did.. the couple times that you were
angry
with me,.. i thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me..'
my son... oh, my son...
i dont want you to cry for me, because of my death.
please dont cry...
my son, i love you so much
what we could have been, 4:19 PM.
